Friday, April 19, 2013

How I Feel About Being Pregnant

It has been a little crazy and busy around here the last few weeks. Belle had a birthday party last week on a week night at Chuck E Cheese (I am not a fan of this place at all). We didn’t get home until almost 9 which kind of messed up the sleep especially since she had cake and was running around for hours. She was a little hyped up. Then at the beginning of this week I came down with something. I spent Monday night up sick. Totally not fun when you are pregnant and can’t keep anything down. It lasted until Tuesday morning. Then all day Tuesday I was basically bed ridden. My whole body ached and I had some Braxton Hicks. Which I think was from dehydration from not even being able to keep water down the night before. I had a doctor’s appointment on Wednesday and everything is fine.

I am at 30 weeks finally. Only 10 more weeks to go, maybe sooner, hopefully a little sooner. Not that I am rushing my last pregnancy, but I am rushing my last pregnancy. Honestly, I hate being pregnant. It’s not for me and I do not enjoy it. I don’t have easy pregnancies. With Belle I had Hyperemesis the entire pregnancy. I was pulled out onto bed rest at 13 weeks. I had severe headaches that lasted until 7 months. Then just when I started to feel better Belle had slowed on growing and I was losing fluid. Two months before my due date I started going for sonograms every other week to monitor her growth and the fluid. At 37 weeks Belle had completely stopped growing and I was sent straight to the hospital from my doctor’s appointment and was induced. We were very lucky that she was born healthy.
I was prepared for the sickness this time around. It still was horrible but I was prepared for it. I knew it was coming. I was lucky enough that it didn’t last the whole time. I still get sick from time to time if I don’t eat enough but nothing like it was the first time around. This time though is completely different. It’s a rough pregnancy for all different reasons. I have migraines that have not stopped yet. I have pains everywhere. My back hurts worse than period cramps. I have a separated abdomen that makes sitting for more than 5 minutes extremely painful. And Braxton Hicks, yeah they hurt, a lot. I have low iron so I need to take iron pills and I failed my glucose test. Luckily I passed the three hour, but felt like crap the entire day after the test. I was so afraid I was going to have gestational diabetes. I already can’t eat a lot of things because they still make me sick but to limit even more to what I can eat. I crave sweets in the form or fruit. I live off of fruit this pregnancy. I am uncomfortable and never gained my energy back like you do in the second trimester. I feel bad for Belle that I can't carry her anymore. It gets harder each day to get her into her carseat. There are more days that I just don't have the energy to play with her. I want to spend these last few months with her. Our last time together just her and I but I don't have the energy a lot of the time. I hurt and can't sit and play with her for long periods of time. And to top it all off, I am really worried how I am going to do all of this when baby sister is here. I am afraid I am taking something away from Belle. I know it's never going to be the same, but she was my first baby. She was my girl and now there are going to be 2 and I just don't know how I am going to do it. I know I will figure it out when baby sister is here and that both girls will be equally loved and spoiled and taken care of. But I am scared that I can't do it all.
Also picking a name this time around blows. We can't agree and I believe this little one will be here and no name will have been choosen. Poor girl. We had no trouble the first time around I guess this is what we get for immediately knowing Belle was always going to be Isabelle. Baby name conversations would be a lot easier with a bottle of wine. Cruel cruel world.
I am sure in a year or so I will miss all of this but I can honestly say I am happy this is our last pregnancy. We will have 2 beautiful girls that complete our family. I pray the rest of this pregnancy goes well and we don’t run into any problems. I pray this little girl keeps growing and is born healthy just like her big sister. But I really can’t wait until it’s done and I can feel like me again.

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