Friday, March 4, 2011

Washing Away

She stood on the back porch on a warm summer night in August. The wind was picking up and the storm was approaching. He arrived home in a foul mood again. He had stormed in from work straight to his hide out and locked himself in. She stood outside preparing for another fight. Willing the rain to begin and wash away the anger, pain, and tears.

She knew she shouldn't stay. She didn't deserve the abuse he dished out. The name calling, the put downs, the verbal attacks, she didn't deserve any of it. He never appreciated her. She hated who she had become because of him. She remembered the night she fought back. As soon as the words slipped out she feared for what he would do. To her surprise he did nothing. In his own twisted mind he liked it. He fell more in love with her that night. A twisted love that neither he nor she should have begun.

She stood on the porch watching the sky turn black. She closed her eyes waiting for the rain to start, waiting for the storm to start. She tried to imagine what this fight would be like. What names would he call her? What would she spew back at him? She shuddered at the thought of who she would become again.

The rain began to fall. She looked up feeling the cool water hit her face. She willed it to clean her. To cleanse her of the person he made her become. She opened her eyes and watched the rain fall to the ground. She watched the dried almost dead grass soak in the rain, regaining life.

Wondering why she could never bring herself to leave she returned to the house. She loved him. There love was a good love, on the good days. But on the bad days it was pure evil.

She went to their tiny bedroom and quietly closed the door. She moved to the closet quickly pulling out her bag, grabbing only what she needed. She had little time before the storm would begin. Any moment he would unlock himself from his retreat. If she waited to long she would be in his path of destruction. She zipped up her bag and left the room never looking back.

She quietly slipped by his room and continued down the hall straight through the living room to the front door. Pushing herself to leave, to run. She made it to the door, her hand on the screen ready to flee. She stopped for a split second to second guess herself. She loved him. She needed him.

His door began to open. She pushed open the screen door and ran into the pouring rain. The cold water felt good on her warm skin. She ran to the car not looking back. Before she reached the car she heard him. He was outside asking where she was going. Demanding she come back in the house. Then he said the words she pushed back for years.

You can't leave me. You are nothing without me. You need me. I need you. I’m all you have.

She turned around, her head telling her to get in the car. He was walking towards her. Before he could reach her she turned and got in the car locking the door behind her. He stopped in his path watching her. She started the car put it in reverse and slowly stepped off the brake.

You can't leave me. You need me. You'll be back. You’ll see.

With that she smiled, stepped on the gas, and left the drive way. When she turned off their street she rolled down the window and let the rain fall in. She let the rain cleanse her and her soul. She let it wash away the past five years and give her a new life. A new beginning.

 This is a fiction piece that I wrote for the red dress club. This week's red writing hood prompt was to write a short piece inspired by the statements Water gives life. It also takes it away.

This is my first fiction piece I have written for the red dress club. Constructive critisim is welcome.


  1. I loved that she left! Great description of the rain cleansing her.

  2. This was beautiful. I loved that she got stronger by the minute as I was reading it.

    I am only just meeting you, so I did not (and do not) know if this was true or not. The end of your post isn't clear, but if this did happen to you, I am SO glad you left, and if you did not experience this, well, woman, you sure as heck have a way of creating a character that I felt was real.

    Either way it was powerful writing. The role of the water was beautiful and nearly brought tears to my eyes. Well done. And nice to meet you!

  3. You captured the emotion so well that I didn't know until the end that it was fiction.

  4. I loved this line: She hated who she had become because of him.

    It says so much in so few words. Relationships can change us - in good and bad ways. And in this was very bad. I'm so glad that she left.

  5. Well written.
    The emotion, the need/fear/self-loathing, it's all there.

    I'm glad she left.

  6. Hooray! I can relate to this so well.. and having a negative person turn you into one as well? I'm glad she got away from it all.

  7. This flowed so well. I was on edge wondering what would happen next.
    Great job.

  8. So happy you put her in that car! Great job your first time out of the gate. My only suggestion would be to vary your sentence structure in the first paragraph, a little stilted. The rest flows well though.

    Glad to see you become a part of TRDC!


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