Super Mom?

I am not perfect, I am not super mom. I am trying my best to be a good mom. But it's so depressing and frustrating that I get no time with my baby. She is growing up so fast and I miss and long for the days when I was home with her. It's getting harder and harder with summer just around the corner.

I am not happy at work anymore. And not just for the fact that I wish to be home with Belle. To me it is not worth the stress and headaches and frustration that I leave with every day. The pettiness that goes around is ridiculous. To sit and deal with a coworker who has no work to do and does nothing all day long while every one else is busy and busting their butts. All while the supervisors and managers know and refuse to give him more work because he simply won't get it. Which is true. But, I will not get into it. That is a whole other post/story/issue all on it's own.

I dream of staying home with Belle. I dream of having a clean house again. I dream of being that super mom, that perfect wife. But reality is I see my daughter for a total of 3 hours a day, my house is a disaster and I cringe every day I have to go into work.

I am in a rut. I need a change. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter and I love my husband. How can I not smile when I look into Belle's eyes and she smiles at me. How can I not smile when Patrick does something goofy yet again. I love my family with all of my heart and they make me happy. But something has got to give between work and family life. I feel like I can not balance it anymore. I need help, I need a break, I need something.

I would LOVE to take a part time job. I thought all of my dreams were going to come true when I found a higher paying part time position within the bank. 9:00am - 1:30pm Monday thru Friday. Perfect! To bad the bank has a wage freeze and only brings people up to the minimum at raise cycles. Which of course was at the beginning of this month. Which means I would only get paid half what I am making now for the next year. We can not afford this.

I am not writing this to sound whiny and whoa is me. I am writing to get this off of my chest. To be honest. To vent. This post is for me.

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After going back and rereading this post I will leave with this question...what makes a mom a super mom? What is you're definition of a super mom? Maybe we are all super mom's in our own way...